As an avid reader of Perezhilton.com, US Weekly and People, it’s hard to ignore all the drama stemming from Jon and Kate Gosselin, of the TLC show ‘Jon and Kate Plus Eight.’ Jon Gosselin has clearly forgotten that he’s a father and has pissed off the country by strutting around like a big shot.

Between hooking up with various 20-something-year-olds, purchasing his ‘hip’ NYC bachelor pad (um, don’t your kids live in Pennsylvania), and hanging out with the likes of Michael Lohan, Jon Gosselin has seriously screwed up. ‘I think he’s scum,’ says Maria-Nicole Marino, a sophomore magazine journalism major. ‘He’s way more wrapped up in the media and random girls than his family’

It’s no surprise how quickly it took Lohan to latch onto Gosselin; someone has finally taken his place as world’s most terrible father. Congratulations Jon.

Normally, I’d find humor in a reality TV show couple who abuses their fame, lets the nation in on their messy divorce, and ultimately makes complete fools of themselves. But it’s those eight kids that make the whole situation so sad.

Now, I have a strong dislike for children, which comes from a few years of visiting my mother in her first-grade classroom. Every time I’d go I’d be welcomed by 28 six-year-old rascals who’d scream my name and try to hug and high-five me with their messy, germy hands.

My favorite was when they’d shove their lollipop-stained mouths in my face so I could get a close-up of their disgusting, toothless gums. Sorry kids, the tooth fairy isn’t real. After I witnessed a little girl throw-up all over my mother’s desk, I stopped visiting and would just wait to see her at home.

Needless to say, I don’t like kids and refused to watch ‘Jon and Kate Plus Eight,’ even when all of my friends were in love with it. I explain this because, if it wasn’t for Jon’s ridiculous behavior, I would care less about their divorce.

But thanks to Jon, my heart now melts whenever I see those eight little brats. I just want to give them a hug, or offer to pay for their first few years of therapy.

It’s funny to think that everyone used to be on Jon’s side. In the handful of episodes I watched, even I remember commenting on how awful Kate would treat Jon. When rumors of Jon’s infidelity began to surface, many people still stood behind him, including his mother. In an exclusive interview with Starmagazine.com, Pamela Gosselin commented on her son by saying ‘I don’t think he will ever be portrayed fairly. It’s always twisted.’

His poor mother must be kicking herself at this point. There’s really no way you can blame lavish vacations to tropical resorts with your 22-year-old girlfriend on the media ‘twisting’ things.

Of course America eats up the drama that Jon Gosselin is creating. I’ll even admit that I’ve bought quite a few tabloids that featured him on the cover. What really pisses me off is the fact that some people still like Jon.

Abcnews.com reported, ‘During their European holiday in St. Tropez, France, Jon Gosselin and (Hailey) Glassman met with fashion designer Christian Audigier, who is now in talks with Jon Gosselin to design a clothing line inspired by his love of motorcycles, to be called Hollywood Rebel.’

Seriously? It looks like Kate’s about to get her next book deal: ‘From abandoning his Eight Children to Fashion Designing.’ And a motorcycle clothing line? Who exactly do you think you are Jon Gosselin?

Props to TLC for not letting Jon become a label whore. An article posted on Stupidcelebrities.net said, ‘Jon Gosselin reportedly has agreed to promote Christian Audigier’s clothing on ‘Jon and Kate Plus 8,’ but TLC is now screwing him over (which he deserves) and blurring the skull printed tees on the show!’ Good job TLC, endorsement deal or not, you’re stepping up to the plate.

Next, TLC might want to consider canceling the show altogether, in order to get those poor kids out of the harsh spotlight and knock Jon off of his imaginary pedestal.

Until then, some advice for Jon: Be sure to keep spitting out those ‘My kids are my first priority’ lines. That way, when your children learn how to navigate the Internet, they might not grow to completely hate you.

Lauren Tousignant is a sophomore newspaper major and the opinion editor. Her columns appear occasionally.

Published on September 2, 2009 at 12:00 pm