My Facebook News Feed has recently been inundated with updates of phrases I don’t understand. That was until Thursday night when ‘New Moon’ became one of the top feeds on Twitter. Needless to say, I’ve become acquainted with the ‘Twilight’ die hards, or more simply, the ‘Twihards.’

I realize that it would be extremely hypocritical of me to bash the series when I have been an avid, if not, crazed follower of Harry Potter, or as we call ourselves, the ‘Harry Potheads.’ I make a blatant confession that my Halloween wizard costume sits proudly in my closet. When (spoiler alert!) Dumbledore died, I skipped classes for two days.

Whether it’s Harry or Edward, these fiction books can take us to another dimension of imagination where anything can be possible. However poorly written Twilight may be, those who are engorged are tapped into another realm of reality, a world beyond what’s their own. I’m sure ‘Twilight’ author Stephanie Mayer has given vampires a very good name, but my beef with her books is that the misconceptions in the series bring out the worst qualities in teenyboppers and adolescent women alike.

I want to address several issues I have with ‘Twilight’ since the last movie.

First: Vampires glittering under the sun. Impossible? Maybe not. Probable? No. Harry Potter did give me unrealistic expectations of receiving a letter to Hogwarts when I was 11, but I always knew that the wizarding world was only a fragment of JK Rowling’s well-written fascination. Meyer’s explanation of why Edward’s hot vampire body is extra shiny, and why all vampires glitter, makes no sense. The notion is ridiculous.

Second: Women interpreting Bella’s dependency on Edward as OK and even necessary. I will give it to Meyer for writing Edward’s monologue (‘I love you too much and I don’t want to leave you because other vampires will want to eat/kill you’), but breaking it down to basics, it’s the overused ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ line. Bella still manages to chase Edward like he’s the last man on earth. Hello, have we already forgotten about the werewolf?

Third: Edward as a woman’s example of the perfect man. According to Meyer, the perfect man can’t stand the smell of you, never sleeps, has pale skin, is a mind reader, and has pseudo incestuous relationships with other vampires. I know I’m being too literal, but this so-called ‘dream boy’ ignores his girlfriend constantly, and leaves unexpectedly without any notice. However, I do like the fact that he flies and moves in warp speed, it would make for easier travel arrangements, no booking or luggage fees.

Fourth: The presence of ‘Twihards’ everywhere. When Harry Potter nerds come out from our enclaves, at least we dress up and have intellectual conversations about Severus Snape or ‘he who shall not be named.’ The majority of Twihards are girls whose idea of good music is 15-year-old Justin Bieber, who manage to scream and heave every time Rob Pattinson and his hair come into a scene. They not only ruin the movie but also disrupt the atmosphere of Starbucks when I’m trying to write a paper with their ‘analytical conversations’ about the extent of Edward’s love for Bella. Do I walk around campus harassing you on how to find the seventh horcrux? No.

However, I am looking forward to one thing now that the movie is out, the New Moon album featuring artists like Radiohead, Death Cab for Cutie and Bon Iver. I will always be open to read the ‘Twilight’ series, but until then, I stay true to good literature.

Angela Hu is a sophomore public relations major. Her columns appear weekly, and she can be reached at ajhu01@syr.edu.

Published on November 30, 2009 at 12:00 pm