Demi Moore is officially on my shit list. My Twitter shit list, that is. Earning a spot on my podium of pesky celebrity twitterers, Miss Moore sits in equally obnoxious company: Kim Kardashian, Whitney Port, The Situation and, of course, Lady Gaga, whose tweets suggest she’s confused as to whether she’s a pop star or politician.

Normally, I find it easy to overlook bothersome posts. They’re usually tucked between tweets from Vanity Fair and Jimmy Fallon, so they’re ignorable. But on Sept. 19, The Huffington Post compiled a slideshow of 20 of Demi Moore’s personal twitpics, and I could ignore no more.

Celebrity twittering was cool at first. Getting a peek into the day-to-day activities of famous people sounded like a great idea — emphasis on ‘sounded.’ But once the Twitter apps were downloaded, the madness began. The flood of mundane and irritating celebrity tweets has drowned the Twitter sphere. And Demi Moore really takes the cake.

You see, Demi, you’re 48. While I applaud you for how infuriatingly hot you look for your age, you’re still 48. That means posting self-pictures of yourself in bikinis is very uncalled for. Especially for all of us 20-somethings who don’t look half as good in a bikini as you do. It pisses us off.

And I’m sure I’m not alone in saying the only thing those pictures make me think of are those annoying girls from high school. You know, the ones that uploaded ‘selfies’ of themselves, making kissing faces with a caption that read, ‘Kisses for my baby 😉 Love you, hubby!’ Or even worse, ThE gIrLz WhO WrOtE tHeIr StAtUsEs LiKe ThIs.

Yes, Demi, you’re Twitter account equates you to a 13-year-old MySpace whore.

Seeing a renowned actress write like that, well, it changes you. If I ever saw Demi in person, I’m not sure if I could look at her with the same amount of awe I had pre-Twitter. It’s really difficult to go on viewing people in that light after you’ve seen them post a picture of themselves with the message, ‘race u to the bedroom,’ written on their hand.

I understand your excitement. I’d give my right arm for a chance to race Ashton to the bedroom. But girl, you need to keep that off your hand. Give that Blackberry camera a rest, and text Ashton your cutesy message next time.

Not to say my tweets are anything special. I have been guilty of the question mark and exclamation point combo, but I have never once tweeted a kissy face, multiple hearts or the word ‘hubby.’

I love that you’re just trying to connect with your fans, but change your approach, or at least your tweets.

‘Just stop following me,’ you say? Never. What would I write about?!

Lauren Tousignant is a junior communications and rhetorical studies and writing major. She is the opinion editor at The Daily Orange, where her column appears occasionally. She can be reached at letousig@syr.edu.

 

Published on September 22, 2010 at 12:00 pm