Soon you’ll grow tired of the marathon sessions of ‘A Christmas Story,’ poorly animated versions of Santa Claus and all the other bland television Christmas offerings. You crave a little something different this Christmas. So to spice up your holidays, check out these current TV characters instead of their holiday doppelgangers.

1. Not Santa but Walter White (‘Breaking Bad’)

The return of Father Christmas means two things: gift giving and a family-comes-first priority. Walt (Bryan Cranston) believes in these same things. Santa passes out toys, sweaters and socks. Walt passes out blue methamphetamine that has a better crystal structure than your mother’s Swarovski holiday ornament. For the record, the meth ranks as the better present. Face it, you’ll get more money back if you return that blue meth than if you try to return those black Nike tube socks. As for families, Santa loves Mrs. Claus. Walt loves his family, too — so much so that he’s willing to deal that meth. Santa faces few dangers. Walt faces many: crazed Mexicans, an ex-wife and terminal lung cancer. Walt wins.

2. Not Tiny Tim but Kurt (‘Glee’)

In ‘The Christmas Carol,’ Bob Crachit’s son, Tim, kept him going through his daily struggles. The young crippled child, who never gave up hope and wished everyone an emotionally charged ‘Merry Christmas,’ tugged at the heartstrings of viewers. Chris Colfer has updated this role with Kurt Hummel in ‘Glee,’ acting as the show’s inspirational glimmer of hope. Despite being bullied at school, dealing with his father’s stint at the hospital and feeling alienated, Kurt always manages to rise to the occasion. Whether it is through gaining a better understanding of himself, belting out ‘Rose’s Turn’ or accepting that people are always going to harp on him for being different, Kurt’s perseverance through tough times makes him a holiday inspiration. Did Tiny Tim ever improve the way Kurt did? Who knows, but that final scene in ‘The Christmas Carol’ sure was uplifting. A Christmas miracle, indeed.

3. Not Frosty but Ari Gold (‘Entourage’)

Frosty’s life goes on as long as he doesn’t have a meltdown. Unfortunately, the spring thaw is as unpredictable as one of Ari Gold’s (Jeremy Piven) dramatic outbursts. Ari has freaked out about his children’s school, clients’ futures and golf scores. But he’s suffered the most from his meltdowns in the seventh season. After details of his workplace antics get out, he ends up taking a lot of heat. And after years of stress, his wife walks out on him in the season finale. Frosty can come back every winter. Let’s hope Ari can reconstitute himself next season.

4. Not the Grinch but Simon Cowell

There’s always that one person who can’t manage to smile under any circumstance. He could have a stocking full of presents, a well-lit tree and mistletoe, and he’ll still huff at holiday cheer. Former ‘American Idol’ judge Simon Cowell fits this bill year-round. From barely cracking a smile at William Hung’s depressing but unforgettable audition to telling some female competitors that they look like drag queens, Cowell has no problem raining on parades. Though he won’t be serving cold plates of insults on ‘American Idol’ anymore, viewers can still look forward to his healthy dose of brutal honesty when ‘The X-Factor’ makes its U.S. debut in fall 2011.

5. Not Rudolph but Peggy Olsen (‘Mad Men’)

Rudolph saves Christmas Day when he leads Santa’s sleigh through the poor weather, his blinking red nose lighting the way. Peggy tries her best to save Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. In last season’s finale, she proudly declares she’s been the first to bring new business since the agency began its downward turn for the worse. Further, the other reindeer refused to let Rudolph play in any reindeer games. Peggy encountered a similar situation when she broke into the men’s world of 1960s advertising. Her male counterparts held after-hours client meetings at strip bars without her, while her boss made her first copywriting assignment about lipstick and weight-loss products. And then her co-workers didn’t even let her smoke weed with them. Peggy and Rudolph both play a dark horse character who tries to make things better for everyone around them, even if they aren’t initially appreciated.

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Published on December 4, 2010 at 12:00 pm