Just when you thought you’ve seen it all, the meatheads top it once again. Since the show’s premiere in December 2009,’Jersey Shore’ has exhibited some outlandish behavior, for lack of a better term. Name another ‘thought-provoking’ reality show that features a 4-foot-9 Furby-like alcoholic (with a poof) asking, ‘Where’s the beach?’ while she’s standing … on the beach? You may not know exactly what you’re in for, but it’s easy to predict the level of absurdity you’re about to see.

However, this past week’s episode defied all of my expectations. Is it possible I (bear with me for admitting this) actually felt somewhat sympathetic for the Shore’s roid-raging power couple, Sammi and Ronnie?

In honor of St. Valentine, I thought I’d start by recapping the shenanigans of the ever-so-functional Ronnie Magro and Sammi ‘Sweetheart’ Giancola. What was expected to be an insane episode ended up being a tear jerker. Disregard the fact that Ronnie called Sam every degradingly brutal word in the English and Italian dictionaries. Pay no attention to Sam’s hideously unattractive burp mid-argument, causing no one to take her seriously yet again. And overlook Ronnie breaking and chucking all of Sam’s belongings onto the balcony (because apparently,’if you wanna be a dog, sleep outside like a dog’). One thing remains true: This was definitely some real stuff.

Last season’s meat-brawl over Vinny between Angelina and Snooki may have merely been a catfight for camera time, but Sam and Ronnie seemed genuinely upset with how their relationship took a turn for the worse. Whether or not MTV had a camera crew tailing their every move, the two would’ve still acted like a pair of unstable apes. Kudos to the network for actually providing us with a look into an unadulterated real-life breakup.

On a lighter and slightly less-pestering note, love is blossoming in the lives of the other cast members. J-woww’s arguably nonexistent relationship with her ex-boyfriend is finally over, and now she’s moved onto another ex, Roger. Considering their relationship is getting serious again, she dressed up like a dominatrix in hopes of turning him on. Her leather lingerie got his steroid juices pumping and even caught Snooki’s eye. Twenty-three and shockingly still alone, Snooki half-jokingly asked if she could watch the two smush. Surprising? No. Appreciated? Yes.

And then there are the boys in the ‘Jersey Shore’ house. For those of you unfamiliar with the ridiculous and hysterical behavior of MVP, Mike, Vinny and Pauly still managed to get as much action necessary to their diet of women, tequila, tanning lotion and laundry detergent.

No word yet on whether Deena will ever put on enough clothing to get a date.

The episode concluded with Sammi threatening to leave, and get this: She actually followed through with it. So have our prayers been answered? Is this never-ending, pointlessly annoying relationship between Sammi and Ronnie finally over? Nope. Sorry to spoil it, but the mid-season trailer indicates she comes back in a few episodes.

raparks@syr.edu

Published on February 13, 2011 at 12:00 pm