UPDATED: March 29, 2011, 12:27 a.m.

UPDATED: March 28, 2011, 9:30 p.m.

CORRECTION: In this article, the word ‘transsexual’ was incorrectly used to identify the participants in the drag show. The correct term is ‘gender-bending.’ Gentle Gentleman was referred to using an incorrect pronoun – the correct pronoun is ‘he.’ Members of the troupe Double Rainbow were incorrectly referred to using the wrong pronoun – the correct pronoun is ‘she.’

The word ‘tranny’ is considered derogatory according to the GLAAD Media reference guide, and the word has been removed from the story.

CLARIFICATION: As was clear in of the March 28, 2011, print edition of The Daily Orange, this article was meant to be an opinionated review, not a coverage, of the drag show.

I never thought I’d begin a Friday night by giving half a hand job to a professional drag queen. But more on that later. 

Friday night was Pride Union’s annual Totally Fabulous Drag Show Finals at Goldstein Auditorium. Host and professional drag queen Miss Pandora Boxx was undoubtedly the star of the show with her sassy remarks and candid personality. With lines like ‘My cooter is glistening with fabulousity,’ Miss Pandora Boxx insulted drunken audience members, deeming them whores and prostitutes. ‘She’ll be outside in the alley after the show, naked and charging 50 cents,’ she said, addressing a particularly obnoxious audience member. ‘I know, her rates went up,’ she said.

With three categories — King of the Hill, Queen of the Hill and the newly added Troupe of the Hill — the performers all put their best gender-bending faces forward to perform to the sold-out auditorium.

‘I think the drag show this year was amazing,’ said Miss Pandora Boxx at the end of the show. ‘I was very, very impressed, and that says a lot because I’ve seen a lot of drag shows.’

Best known for her spot as contestant on the second season of ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race,’ Miss Pandora Boxx commented on the competitors’ ability in regard to the reality show.

‘I don’t know, you never know who’s in the wings there,’ she said. ‘I certainly think Miss Jen Derbender has a career ahead of her.’

Referring to the crowned Queen of the Hill, Miss Jen Derbender’s performance was drag show perfection. The muffled audio made the concept a bit confusing, but it luckily didn’t sacrifice the performance. Miss Jen Derbender strutted through her number with all the divalicious attitude you’d expect from a drag queen, with equally talented backup dancers shaking it in the background. 

Jack Dailey was robbed of a title, with Gentle Gentleman being crowned King of the Hill. Both performances were good, but Jack Dailey’s number had the energy and variety that should have won him the title. His last number, Queen’s ‘Fat Bottomed Girls,’ had him stripping his leather jacket and grinding on the microphone pole. One of the judges commented, ‘If the category had been passion, you’d be in there. But it’s not, so it was OK.’ This seemed odd because passion is what makes a performance. 

Gentle Gentleman performed two Bruno Mars songs. The first one was ‘Just the Way You Are,’ during which he twirled around a pretty girl. The song ended with another pretty girl storming on the stage, giving hope for an interesting twist. Unfortunately the appearance fabricated into nothing more than 15 seconds of dirty looks, with both pretty girls stomping off the stage in betrayed rage. The act ended with Mars’ ‘Grenade,’ a confusing pick in regard to the scene beforehand.

But nothing could compare to the next act, the hot mess that was Double Rainbow. With a well-done but distracting video playing on the screen behind them, the troupe spread their awkwardness across the stage to a mix of Cee Lo Green’s ‘F*** You,’ Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself’ and Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way.’ The general concept was great, as they alternated the Madonna and Lady Gaga songs to display the controversial similarities. However, the dance moves were weird, and the Madonna portrayer wore a bizarre outfit that had me questioning who she was at first. Further, Lady Gaga’s strapless ensemble kept falling down, revealing her nipples, and rather than playing it up, he continued to keep adjusting it throughout the performance. 

They lost the crown to troupe Biggie Smalls, which was an equally awkward performance of a girl and guy dancing around to Britney Spears and Ke$ha songs. Both troupes were bad, but Biggie Smalls was clearly considered the lesser of the two. 

Making a special guest performance was Drag King Windz. He was, without a doubt, a crowd favorite, evident through the number of girls — and guys — who flocked the stage during his performances.

Speaking of which — back to the hand job. Audience members were encouraged to go up to the stage during the numbers and give tips to the performers, who accepted them in some form of a sexual gesture. So with a dollar bill in hand, I skipped up to the stage during Miss Pandora Boxx’s first performance and waved my arm in the air. She took the dollar, grabbed my hand and rubbed it up and down her crotch. I’d say it lasted about nine seconds. All tips are donated to charity (they tallied $153 at the end of the show), and watching students get their faces shoved into crotches was one of the more hilarious aspects of the night.  

Closing out the show, Miss Pandora Boxx performed an epic number to Storm Large’s ‘8 Mile Wide.’ A song that quickly had everyone in the audience singing along to the chorus, ‘My vagina is eight miles wide, absolutely everyone can come inside!’ It was a ‘vigantic’ execution of sass and a high-energy ending to an overall successful evening. 

‘Well, you know, I’ve suffered from an extra wide vagina for a long time,’ said Miss Pandora Boxx. ‘So I was finally happy to find a song that made me feel welcomed.’ 

letousig@syr.edu

Published on March 27, 2011 at 12:00 pm