To be or not to be? That is the question many couples will face at the end of senior year. Romantic duos must make a decision whether ‘us’ was meant to be, or if it’s easier to just be ‘me.’ Unlike when my grandmother was in college, the pressure to be wifed up by age 22 has disintegrated among most social circles, and graduating couples are posed with three options:

1) Commit to staying near each other — potentially sacrificing jobs, graduate programs and any last remnants of youth.

2) Pursue a long-distance relationship, notorious for its difficulty, never-ending horniness and inevitable failure.

3) Kiss your ‘Cuse cutie good bye and good luck.

David Rosen and Karen Gluskin are opting for the second option — maybe the first, if they’re lucky. Rosen, a senior information management and technology and finance major, and Gluskin, a senior inclusive elementary and special education major, have been together for about a year and a half. After graduation, Rosen will work on a master’s degree at the School of Information Studies, and Gluskin hopes to be a teacher in the Syracuse area or near Chicago. They both are hopeful that with visits and Skype dates, their relationship can persevere.

‘As much as I would like her to be around the Syracuse area so that we can physically be together, I support her going wherever is best for her,’Rosen said. ‘We will both do our best to make the distance work.’

Gluskin matched Rosen’s optimism. ‘If things are meant to be, this path will only make our relationship stronger,’ she said.

Cue the baby-making music: this sounds like a chick flick I’d love to believe in. And apparently Gluskin, Rosen and I are not the only ones who believe long distance can work. A study published last year in the Communication Research journal found that as many as three out of four college students will date while being physically separated at some point in time.

I’m even a statistic myself: One master’s degree, several Skype dates, a dozen visits, 325-ish days apart and countless phone calls later, my boo and I are still going strong.

Let’s not sugarcoat it, though: Overall, long-distance relationships suck. How many Skype dates does it take until talking to a computer screen gets as stale as a long-distance sex life? Visits are always too short, phone chats become too routine, and sometimes the loneliness can feel like too much. 

But as hard as it is, it has its benefits. Distance can improve communication, enhance emotional connection and make the heart grow fonder. However, if you are weak, unsure or a sex fiend, you may want to keep in closer proximity.

When it comes down to it, I’m a firm believer in fate. If the thought of a long-distance relationship seems absolutely unbearable, don’t do it. Destined couples will re-cross paths, and dead-end love will re-route to a new location. If the fate of your long-distance relationship is as tender as a Lifetime movie plot, then it’s simply meant to be. No question.

Alicia Smith is a graduate student in the magazine, newspaper and online journalism program at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications. Her column appears every Thursday, and she can be reached at acsmit05@syr.edu.

Published on April 20, 2011 at 12:00 pm