I’ve never heard anyone in college use the word ‘monogamy,’ but I have heard a rule very similar toStanger’s: Don’t sleep with someone on the first date.

 

Well, dates in college are pretty rare. Girls, if you actually find a guy who’s going to take you on one, you should probably just sleep with him and lock that down.

 

Just kidding. But chances are if you’re contemplating this ‘First Date Rule,’ you’re probably trying to decide if you should sleep with that person you met at Chuck’s.  

 

I’ve heard from friends that by holding off on sex, the chance of having a something much more meaningful than a one night stand increases. You’re looking to lure that person and if you don’t hold off, that might backfire.

 

But is this rule really applicable? If we wait to sleep with someone, will they like us more?

 

My friend B met a guy at a bar. She slept with him the first night, not expecting anything to come out of that night. Fast-forward three years. After some back and forth texting due to long distance, they have been dating for almost a year now. 

 

Whether she had waited to sleep with him or not, they have an undeniable connection, and that’s what it’s all about. 

 

‘If a guy is looking to hook up with a girl, and he knows she wants to hook up with him, it’s annoying to have to wait around,’ said P, a male senior. ‘It’s not fun to sit and wait for a girl who thinks she needs to make out with you three times before she has sex with you. If you both want to do it, why wait?’

 

My friend B tells me she never expected her relationship to amount to anything more than a one-night stand. If she had, she would have waited. But she approached him with a more laid-back attitude, which probably helped ease them into a relationship. She had no expectations, so she wasn’t getting hurt. 

 

On the other hand, holding out can be beneficial for a relationship. 

 

Another friend waited to sleep with a guy for a month, and they ended up dating for a year. She said she thinks that if she hadn’t waited, she doesn’t think they would have ended up together. Waiting didn’t create a stronger attraction. It just gave them a chance to get to know each other and see the connection they had. 

 

‘There are definitely positives to holding out. It generates interest and mystery, but it won’t make the fling last any longer once a girl finally jumps into bed with you,’ P added. 

 

Holding out can be good for mystery, but it definitely won’t always generate an emotional connection. 

 

So when it comes to the ‘First Date Rule,’ it really doesn’t make a difference if you sleep with them the first night or not. It’s not about when you have sex with them, but what kind of connection you establish from the start.

 

Rita Kokshanian is a senior magazine journalism major. Her column appears every Thursday. She can be reached at rhkoksha@syr.edu.