I’m sure you’ve heard that train wreck Lindsay Lohan is going to jail, again. Her consistent partying, breaking of probation and alleged drug use is keeping her in the big house.

I know it doesn’t take real skill to down 10 tequila shots, but balancing classes and partying does. I know industrial strength binge drinking on weekends — and even weeknights — can have serious consequences. But this kind of reckless lifestyle is completely glorified. You can’t escape it. You read about celebrities clubbing and getting wasted even when everyone knows they’re not 21.

‘Pictures of last night ended up online, I’m screwed. Oh, well. It’s a blacked-out blur, but I’m pretty sure it ruled, damn!’ According to these lyrics from Katy Perry’s song, ‘Last Friday Night,’ the worst possible outcome of blacking out from drinking is, well, blacking out from drinking. If you say so, Katy.

When drunken escapades end badly for celebrities, they get off scot-free. Time in prison can be reduced significantly, say from 90 days to 84 minutes like LiLo’s last stint in the slammer. Or they’re merely forced to complete community service hours, take psychotherapy sessions or go to rehab, which seems to closely resemble a trip to a luxury spa.

No fair. Where’s my get-out-of-jail-free card?

We find it difficult to forgive our peers when they get arrested, but we easily forgive celebrities. And why not, when viewers still get to watch Martha Stewart’s show even though she’s on house arrest, or when millions of fans eagerly await Lil Wayne’s album release even though he sat in jail for the opening. In fact, it made the show more exciting and Weezy’s new songs just that much better. I’d be willing to bet that people just tuned in to Martha’s program to see if the camera happened to land on her new accessory, that oh-so-attractive bulky black anklet.

With all the great celebrity role models we have to look up to, it’s no wonder partying is so popular among underage people. Either you have a chastity ring like Selena Gomez and the Jonas Brothers, or you’re boozing it up like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.

What happened to meeting in the middle?

Fictional characters in television shows are no better. On ‘Gossip Girl,’ viewers watch characters poppin’ champagne, meeting up at elite clubs and bars, and ordering martinis and hard liquor. And the music industry turns out tracks just like Perry’s binge-drink anthem, dedicated to crazy nights of intoxication that render you forgetful the next morning.

This glamorization has made people somewhat immune to the ideas of prison and other forms of legal consequences. When the repercussions seem less severe, people are more likely to break the rules or laws — and eventually deal with the consequences.

The only difference: Millions aren’t going to be eagerly awaiting our new album or cooking show.

Jessica Wiggs is a sophomore English and textual studies major. Her column appears every Monday, and she can be reached at jawiggs@syr.edu. 

Published on November 6, 2011 at 12:00 pm