Last week, I read an article about Syracuse University published by Elite Daily, an online publication that prides itself on representing ‘The Aspiring, Successful and Established.’

After reading it three times and scanning other refined topics like ’10 Things Men Never Want to Hear From a Woman’ and ‘Mastering the Art of the Eye F**k,’ I decided this publication is for an aspiring grade-A douche lord.

And judging how the Elite Daily Campus Profiler recycled so many stereotypes when writing ‘Campus Profile: Syracuse University,’ I can only assume it’s going green – the only positive note I’ll offer about the article.

According to the anonymous writer, SU is full of greek-obsessed, drugged up Jewish American princesses who spend the day trying to remember last night after they finish sleeping through class.

Well, Mr. I-succumb-to-stereotypical-and-sexist-generalizations-of-a-student-body-of-more-than-15,000-students, I’m setting the record straight. I want to share just a few thoughts from the students you have pegged so well.

According to your research, which I can only assume stemmed from your bitterness and personal experience with rejection, the women of SU are rated 65 out of 100.

You wrote, ‘The majority of the girls are verbose, over-privileged, highly materialistic, and out of touch with reality – or what we call JAPS,’ and succeeded in being both sexist and culturally offensive. As a woman attending SU, I was offended. After asking friends on campus how they felt about the rating, it became clear that I was not alone.

‘I’ve read this article 787 times. It’s old and overdone. I’m Irish Catholic. … Last time I checked, I’ve never been called a JAP,’ said Maddie Kelly, a sophomore graphic design major.

I can say that the wisest move you made, besides ending the article, was keeping your name out of the byline. Otherwise, you could have insured that you never get laid again.

‘The only people who are ‘out of touch with reality’ are the people that believe any of this bullsh*t,’ said Emily Blumette, a sophomore graphic design and information management dual major.

Equally strong feelings about the male student rating of 82 out of 100 accompany the feelings about the female score. Yes, our campus is filled to the brim with lacrosse bros, basketball players and everything in between, but the sport you play says very little about the person you are.

As my friend Rachel Samples put it: ‘There are very few quality men, and the ones I’ve met are often wifed up, gay or both.’

Samples, a sophomore television, radio and film major, added, ‘The guy’s rating is so biased. Contrary to what the author said, there are very few athletes to choose from because they are too busy practicing, failing classes and/or not winning championships.’

Unless your last name is Merriam-Webster, you had no right to define ‘ugly,’ ‘JAP,’ ‘men’ or ‘women’ in your article. Using generalized stereotypes helped you tear down the self-worth of your own student body. Nicely done.

It’s sad that in an article in which the opening sentence states, ‘We will bring our readers an accurate insight into campus life,’ the only accuracies I read were the addresses listed as ‘places definitely worth checking out.’

Call me ‘verbose’ but the truth is, you’re in college. I shouldn’t have to spend 600 words explaining why your ‘aspiring, successful and established’ article should never have been published.

Kara McFarlane is a sophomore television, radio and film major – assuming radio is even a thing anymore – and her column appears every other Thursday. She can be reached at cnmcfarl@syr.edu. Follow her on Twitter at @karanicolemcf. 

Published on April 4, 2012 at 12:00 pm