The Snow White that we know sleeps in a coma, waiting for her prince’s kiss. That’s not true of Hollywood’s latest retooling, but everything else about the famous fairy tale is still intact – from the seven dwarves to the Evil Queen.

Unfortunately, ‘Mirror Mirror’ is just as shallow and concerned with its appearance as its Evil Queen. Beneath its extravagant world of color and sparkle lies a disappointing lack of substance and a sentimentality that’s as sweet as a poisoned apple.

Screenwriters Marc Klein and Jason Keller took pages out of multiple storybooks, resulting in a movie that is neither a live-action adaptation of the Disney classic nor a modern interpretation of a Brothers Grimm tale. It’s a melting pot of childhood story tropes, incorporating the thievery of ‘Robin Hood,’ the ballroom grandeur of ‘Cinderella’ and the eccentric costuming of ‘Alice in Wonderland.’

However, it tells a story that still bears resemblance to its predecessors without being too much of a typical damsel in distress tale. When the King disappears, his daughter Snow White (Lily Collins) is left in the custody of her stepmother, the Evil Queen (Julia Roberts). Under her rule, the kingdom becomes a frozen wasteland where the people – and woodland creatures – have stopped singing and dancing.

Snow White is as classic of a fairy tale as you can get. But with her traditional pining and dependency, she’s not exactly a modern female role model. It makes sense that most filmmakers would jump at the opportunity to remake the ivory-skinned, raven-haired princess for today’s society. After all, how else could there be two ass-kicking Snow Whites in one year, even in the reboot-happy fairy world of Hollywood?

‘Snow White and the Huntsman,’ slated for June and featuring Kristen Stewart, looks more like a hybrid of a Joan of Arc story and dark fairy tale movie ‘Pan’s Labyrinth.’ ‘Mirror Mirror’ is decidedly much lighter fare with its campiness and ironic sense of humor, occupying the self-aware, family-friendly space ‘Ella Enchanted’ left behind.

When Snow White ventures into the kingdom for the first time, she runs into Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer), who has been burgled and bound in the woods. As with most love-at-first-sight moments, they instantly fall for each other – him for her mysterious aura and dramatic eyebrows, and her for his shirtless torso and strangely patterned chest hair. But the Evil Queen plans to marry Alcott, whose foreign wealth would pay for her lavish dresses and save her from financial ruin.

It’s a wonder that Roberts manages to carry this movie all on her own, especially when forced to spend much of it under the weight of intricately designed but undoubtedly heavy regalia. But viewers won’t enjoy the campy and affected English accent as much as she does. A highlight of Roberts’ performance is that she willingly carries out many of the script’s antics. She attacks Prince Alcott in full-on cougar mode and allows him to lick her face when a puppy love spell goes awry.

Her actions might seem excessive at times, but it’s essential in offsetting Collins’ mild performance as Snow White. In a potentially star-making role, Collins depends on her co-stars to shine but ultimately lacks chemistry with them. Her flirtatious banter during a sword fight against Alcott is tepid at most: Her flat delivery is easily outshone by Hammer’s charisma. Her camaraderie with the seven bandits – not Disney’s whistle-while-you-work dwarves – is barely evident.

Collins’ looks like she’d be more comfortable in the background instead of being the star. She’s tentative and reluctant to rise to the occasion. Her demure nature only gets her so far in a climactic battle with the Queen’s evil pet monster, and much less during her inevitable kiss with Prince Alcott.

It’s left to Roberts and the supporting castto try making ‘Mirror Mirror’ an adequately enchanting fairy tale. They never quite succeed, but it hardly feels like a loss. After all, ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’ is only two months away.

dataroy@syr.edu

Published on April 4, 2012 at 12:00 pm