It started out as any ordinary day. I walked down to Marshall Street to purchase my morning Starbucks. A summer living in New York City got me addicted to the heart-pumping, hand-twitching caffeine that is its iced coffee, and I can’t get enough. My family once tried to intervene by filling my Starbucks cup with some Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee. I immediately recognized the dirty bath water taste, threw the cup into the trash with rage and furiously drove 5 mph over the speed limit to the nearest Starbucks. They’ve since given up.

I like my iced coffee black, no sugar, because it makes me feel hardcore. The more milk and sugar you add, the less hardcore you are. I don’t really know what I mean by hardcore, but saying it makes me feel hardcore. So with my hardcore iced coffee in hand, I strolled to my first class.

And then it happened — I kicked a squirrel. It wasn’t a hate crime. I love all squirrels. In fact, I’m a huge animal lover. I’m not throwing red paint on anyone’s fur coat, but I do deeply care about them. I seriously consider making a donation whenever I see that Sarah MacLachlan animal cruelty commercial.

No, this was a complete and total accident and I blame technology. Our society is so consumed with our cell phones and texting and e-mailing and playing virtual beer pong that we don’t even notice when a poor innocent animal fails to get out of the way. I had seen the squirrel on the edge of the sidewalk, but I figured he’d scatter off as they often do. Evidently, he figured I would move out of the way for him. I’m not sure if he’s aware of his miniature size, but I would never attempt to avoid a squirrel, unless he appeared to have rabies.

Eyes glued to my iPhone screen, I continued my stride and my black, over-the-knee, hardcore boot swiftly kicked the little guy in his side. He jumped back and situated himself in some sort of attack position. His eyes revealed a mixed emotion of confusion, hate and hurt. I carefully tried to kneel down to apologize.

This was awkward since you don’t normally see a student bending down to have a little chitchat with a woodland creature. Had you not seen the previous incident you would have thought I had some sort of mental disability, or had taken shrooms. Actually, even if you had seen the previous incident you would have thought I had some sort of mental disability, or had taken shrooms.

Before I was able to finish my stuttered apology, he slowly backed up and quickly scattered off. I wanted to run after him and help. Did he have internal bleeding? Did I kick his kidneys? Did he need immediate medical attention? I refrained, though. I had done enough damage for one day.

As the day went on, I slowly came to peace with myself considering what I’d done. Really, it wasn’t my fault. Our culture has created an environment that not only puts small woodland creatures in danger, but also ourselves. I was lucky it was a squirrel I walked into and not a moving car. Take my story as a lesson: Save your BBMing for when you get to class and take that time in between to stop and smell the roses.

Now whenever I see a squirrel, I smile, no matter how many seconds I have left in virtual beer pong.

Lauren Tousignant is a sophomore communications and rhetorical studies major. She is the opinions editor at The Daily Orange. Her column appears occasionally and she can be reached at letousig@syr.edu.

Published on March 8, 2010 at 12:00 pm