My ever-present countdown to summer is coming to an end. With a mere three days left of classes, I will definitely not be sorry for partying straight after finals week.

For now, finals week success is contingent on effective, time-consuming study hours. But if I can pretend to be productive for one more week, I’m completely justified in turning the next four months into a giant party.

This summer-long social hour has been my plan since the first day of the semester: work hard, play hard. Or something like that. I plan on being drunk and dancing for months on end.

I picture lying by the pool every day, sipping on lemonade and laughing with friends until late at night. But in reality, unstructured days turn into chocolate-eating binges, ‘Criminal Minds’ marathons and hours of looking at pictures of cats on the Internet. ‘Criminal Minds’ would make me think I could get away with any wrongdoings. I’d start off small, stealing the table numbers from restaurants, but there’s no telling how far I’d get.

But one too many days left alone and ‘Criminal Minds’ character Spencer Reid will inevitably turn into an orange tabby. I’ll then start thinking that he’s my friend.I’m determined to make this summer more productive than a late night at E.S. Bird Library, which won’t be too hard to do.

To fulfill my dream of becoming a famous rapper, I must constantly practice my flows. From now on, whenever someone asks me a question, I will answer with a rap. If someone tries to argue, they will find themselves in the midst of a rap battle.

I am determined to try every Mexican restaurant in my hometown of Houston to find the best queso. I am going to finally catch up on my Netflix queue, which includes documentaries about Tupac, animated dinosaur flicks and every season of ‘Scrubs.’ I will make a photo collage of Jake Gyllenhaal to hang above my bed. What could possibly be a more fulfilling and rewarding way to spend my days?

I’ll kick all my lazy, unhealthy habits. I will exercise more. Instead of using the remote to change the channel, I’ll walk across the room and do it manually. I’ll eat healthier: Instead of Hershey’s kisses, I’ll eat chocolate-covered raisins and get an extra serving of fruit. I will recycle more: Instead of wasting water by doing laundry, I can wear all my clothes twice.

I’m optimistic about the newfound productivity that summer is bound to hold. I will improve my character and still have time to party. And if becoming a better person turns out not to be all it’s cracked up to be, there are always pictures of cats on the Internet to look at instead.

Emmie Martin is a sophomore magazine journalism major. Her column appears every other Thursday. She would like to thank Kathleen, Erik and Colleen for a great semester. Email her at esmart01@syr.edu and follow her on Twitter at @emmiemartin.

Published on April 25, 2012 at 12:00 pm