With a fairly basic, Jon Stewart-informed knowledge of politics, I tend to laugh (as compared to cry or scream) at the circus the Republican Party has created out of the political playing field.

There’s Mitt Romney, whose Ivy League swagger and surprisingly attractive ombré hairstyle normally distracts me from anything he says. Same goes for Jon Huntsman — and Rick Perry. Especially with Rick Perry, his Texas twang really gets me going.

But amid all the statuesque good looks, the mainstream media has largely ignored one candidate: Republican all-star and U.S. Rep. Ron Paul of Texas’ 14th Congressional District.

Standing for limited government and personal liberties, Paul is the self-proclaimed ‘champion of the Constitution.’ As the long, lost father of Ron Swanson from ‘Parks and Recreation,’ he’s as hilarious and lovable as he is insane. I’m convinced that, though this is his third run for the GOP nomination, he couldn’t care less about becoming president. He’s simply in the race to shake sh*t up and annoy the hell out of his fellow nominees.

Picture an old man yelling at a bunch of kids who have jumped his fence and are creating a ruckus in his backyard; then watch Paul’s debate videos. He delivers his responses as if he’s screaming: Are you effing kidding me?! What kind of stupid question is that? Why shouldn’t heroin be legal?! This is a democracy! That’s a constitutional right! Shut the eff up and go back to the playground where you were when I began my career in government 35 effing years ago!

Ending the war in Iraq. Abolishing federal taxes. Legalizing heroin. There ain’t no party like a Ron Paul party. I want to both rudely question his optimistic expectations of his fellow countrymen and still invite him to Christmas dinner.

Despite his radical suggestions, Paul consistently sticks to his principles even if that means legalizing heroin in the name of personal liberties. This is pretty respectable for a Republican, especially when you compare this to Michele Bachmann’s attachment to delusions like, yes, the founding fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery.

I’m not saying you have my vote, Paul. But you forever have my heart.

But perhaps consider changing your campaign slogan from ‘rEVOLution,’ to ‘Sorry for Partying.’ It’s more reflective of your bada** stances.

Lauren Tousignant is a senior communications and rhetorical studies and writing major. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at letousig@syr.edu.  

Published on October 4, 2011 at 12:00 pm